Inner Voice: Write Things Down, Then Walk Away

Writing things down helps you to process your feelings.

If someone has made you upset, write a letter to them explaining why you feel that way. Decide at the point of writing that you won’t send it to them so you can just say whatever you want to say and get your feelings off your chest. Once you have written the letter, walk away from it for some time — at least a few hours, or perhaps as much as a day or two. When you read it back later, your feelings about some of the things you have written will likely have changed. You may be surprised at some of the things you have written. You might be surprised at the strength of your anger or disappointment. You might also start to be able to see your own part in the conflict in a different light. Writing a letter and not sending it, but rather walking away from it, can help you figure out what is bothering YOU about the situation so you can decide whether or not YOU can make any changes to help improve the relationship between you and the other person. Do you need to be a better communicator? Do you need to hold your tongue when you only have sharp words to say? Do you need to have better boundaries around that person? Try to figure out what YOU can do rather than spending time deciding how to get the other person to change.

This method can also work if you have too many things to do and you feeling like you are spinning out. Take some time to write down a list of everything that needs to get done. Then, walk away from it for some time. When you return to it, you will probably have gained some perspective on the tasks and will be in a better position to figure out the relative priority of each of the tasks.

Writing things down and then walking away is a powerful way to solve problems by giving yourself the time and space to calm down enough to be able to access your own better intuition.