Author: people.food.feelings

I didn’t realize that “my life had become unmanageable”. I thought I managed things fairly well. But once the curtain was drawn back, I could see the unmanageability clearly.

One very prominent example is how I thought of time. I basically thought it didn’t apply to me. I would set completely unrealistic goals for myself and my colleagues in terms of time, and then be surprised when the deadline swooshed past. Things always took longer than I thought.

I would also let myself get sucked into projects deeply, losing all sense of time, staying up well past a reasonable time for sleeping, and then wonder why I felt tired all the time.

I still have to keep a careful eye on this part of my character. I can slip into “time blindness” very easily. Having my food in place helps to keep the curtains pulled back, but having a realistic understanding of how time works is honestly very hard for me.

There is a particular noodle dish that I liked, but restaurants always served too many noodles and too much broth. I could never finish all of it. And I always felt full after eating about half of the serving, but I never stopped there. I always kept on eating, one more bite, then another. Eventually, I would get to the point of actual bursting and I couldn’t eat another bite. But even though I had already figured out that I was full about ten bites before that, and even though I was having a conversation in my head about the fact that I was full and should stop eating, I could not stop eating.

I eat my portion of food and it is enough. I never get that feeling of being too full, and I don’t have to try to apply the brakes in the middle of a meal.