How was it then?
I always wanted MORE. I could never feel satisfied with what I had. If something was good or enjoyable, I wanted more of it. I wanted it to never end. There is no amount that could be considered “enough”.
One more bite. Okay, just one more. Well, might as well make it an even three. Wait, three is an odd number. Better make it four. Oh, four is unlucky, so it pretty much has to be five. Okay, I have probably had enough now. But there are still some left in the bag. I should probably just finish these up.
This happened with food, but also with time (just a few more minutes) or activities that I was doing (just one more game). Whatever I was doing, I just wanted to do that thing and never stop.
~ A Food Addict
How is it now?
When I started on my program of recovery, this feeling was still very much there, so I struggled with eating just what I had committed to eating and no more. It didn’t seem like it would be enough. But after a few days of “ordered eating” (instead of disordered eating), I started to recognize what “enough” looked like and felt like. Now, I feel satisfied after my meals, and I know that there is another one coming, so that keeps the “MORE!” monster at bay.
This has carried over to the rest of my life, and now I am able to look objectively at what I am doing and come to a more rational decision about what is “enough” of any one thing. The most remarkable place that this has had an impact is with my bedtime. Because I was always chasing “more”, I always ended up staying up too late, and well past reasonable hours. Now that my food is in its right place, I can keep other things in my life in their right place too, which means that when it is time for bed, I can just get myself to go to bed without arguments. The child inside me doesn’t scream for a later bedtime every night!
~ A Recovering Food Addict
